Love vs Arrange Marriage – Which One is Better?

Love and Arrange Marriage

Marriage is like a special kind of partnership between two people who love each other. This is a way of saying that they want to be together for a long time and live a life together. Marriages can be based on love, companionship, or tradition, and are often celebrated with a wedding ceremony. Marriage may also bring legal benefits, such as inheritance rights or hospital visitation rights.

The two main types of marriages in India: Love Marriages and Arrange Marriage

For centuries, there has been debate on how to find your ideal life partner. On the one hand, the concept of love marriage is inspired by passion and emotional connection. On the other hand, we have a tradition of arranged marriages, which focus on compatibility and are often guided by family and cultural values.

Almost 10 million weddings are done in India every year out of them only 2% are love marriages.

What is Love Marriage?

A love marriage is when two people choose to get married because they are in love with each other. In a love marriage, the couple’s feelings for each other are the main reason for getting married, rather than pressure from family or society.

Facts of Love Marriage 

Love marriages have become more common in recent years, but they can also lead to various incidents and challenges. Here are some statistics on incidents caused by love marriage in India:

  • According to a study by the National Commission for Women, around 30% of love marriages face societal pressure and conflicts.
  • A survey by the Pew Research Center found that 74% of Indians believe that it is very important for a couple to have the approval of their families before getting married.
  • The Special Marriage Act, of 1954, which governs love marriages in India, requires a 30-day notice period before a marriage can be solemnized.
  • A study by the International Center for Research on Women found that women in love marriages are more likely to experience domestic violence compared to arranged marriages.
Love and Arrange Marriage

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Pros of Love Marriage

Here are some of the advantages of love marriages:

  • Love marriages are based on a deep emotional connection, which promotes trust and security in the relationship.
  • Couples who choose each other often have compatible aspirations for the future, creating a strong foundation for a fulfilling life together.
  • The foundation of love encourages open and honest communication, making it easier to navigate challenges and build a lasting partnership.
  • Choosing your partner empowers you to find someone who aligns with your values and complements your personality.
  • Love marriages can encourage personal growth as partners support and inspire each other to achieve their goals.

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Cons of Love Marriage

Love marriages, while celebrated for emotional connection, can also come with challenges. Here are some disadvantages of Love Marriage:

  • Love marriages can sometimes cause tension with families, especially if they are not involved in the decision. This can lead to a lack of support during difficult times.
  • In the rush of love, couples may overlook compatibility issues like finances, life goals, or even basic routines. These may later come to the surface again, causing friction.
  • Love marriage may not be widely accepted in some communities. Couples may face social rejection or isolation, which can increase stress in the relationship.
  • Love is important, but marriage also requires practicality. Love marriages may lead to less discussion about finances, child-rearing, or household chores, which may lead to fights in the future.
  • The intense passion of an early relationship may fade over time. To make a love marriage last long there is a need to foster deep connection and communication.

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What is an Arranged Marriage?

An arranged marriage involves parents selecting spouses for their children. They find someone they think would be a good match for you, considering things like education, religion, and family background. In some places, you might even get to meet a few people before deciding. This is different from dating where you find someone alone.

Arranged marriage is still prevalent in India, with more than 90% of Indians having arranged marriages. Despite this, the trend of choosing one’s partner or leaving marriage is increasing among some women.

Love and Arrange Marriage

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Pros of an Arranged Marriage

Arranged marriages, a tradition followed for centuries in many cultures, continue to hold significance even today. Here are some advantages of arranged marriage:

  • Matching goes beyond physical attraction. Families consider shared values, backgrounds, and life goals, creating a strong foundation for the couple.
  • Arranged marriages benefit from strong family investment in their success. This extended support system can be a source of strength during challenging times.
  • Financial compatibility is often a factor. Families may consider economic security, which provides a stable foundation for couples to build their lives together.
  • Arranged marriages act as a conduit for cultural traditions and customs, actively passing them to future generations.
  • The reduced pressure to find a partner frees families to leverage their networks and experience to actively identify suitable matches.
  • Couples who enter into arranged marriages often have a strong sense of commitment from the beginning. Focusing on improving the relationship can lead to greater stability.

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Cons of an Arranged Marriage

While arranged marriages offer potential benefits, there are also aspects that require careful consideration. Here are some disadvantages of arranged marriage:

  • Couples may lack the initial spark or emotional intimacy that often comes from personal choice. Building a strong bond takes time and effort.
  • Family expectations may be very high, leading to pressure on individuals to accept matches even if they have objections. This can lead to unhappiness and resentment.
  • Traditional gender roles may persist, potentially leading to an imbalance in decision-making and opportunities within the marriage.
  • Rushed introductions can make couples feel like strangers on their wedding day. It takes time to build trust and understanding.
  • Matching based on social background or financial security doesn’t guarantee compatibility in personality, values, or life goals. This can lead to conflict down the line.
  • In some cases, arranged marriages may conceal forced marriages, where individuals have no rights over the partner chosen. This is a serious issue with long-term consequences.

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Comparison Between Love Marriage and Arranged Marriage

Here is the comparison between Love and Arrange Marriage

FeatureLove MarriageArranged Marriage
Basis of ChoiceLove, emotional connectionCompatibility, suitability (often based on factors like education, family background, etc.)
Choosing PartnerPartners choose each otherFamily and/or matchmakers play a role in selection
Initial PassionGenerally higher due to emotional connectionMay take time to develop, but can grow stronger
CommunicationEstablished before marriageNeeds to be built after marriage
UnderstandingDeep understanding of each other’s personalitiesTime needed to understand personalities and habits
AdjustmentMay be easier due to existing love and bondRequires more effort due to initial lack of knowing
Family SupportVaries depending on the family’s acceptanceUsually has built-in support from both families
Success RateMay be lower due to basing decisions on emotionsThis may be higher due to compatibility considerations
Success RatePotentially higher due to strong emotional bondCan be equally successful with time and effort

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Both Love and Arrange Marriage have pros and cons. Love marriages offer passion and emotional connection, while arranged marriages provide stability and family support. The best choice between love and arrange marriage depends on cultural background, individual values, and what you prioritize in a partner. 

The success of any marriage relies on open communication, mutual respect, and a willingness to grow together.

FAQs

Which marriage is better, love vs arranged?

Arranged marriages are more successful than love marriages. Love Marriages Often Break, and Arranged Marriages Often End Up in Stronger Bonds. Compatibility and stability are facilitated by family values and societal expectations. In such a scenario, premarital counseling and mutual respect are also important.

Do arranged marriages last longer than love marriages?

Yes, arranged marriages last longer than love marriages. This is all because of family involvement, common goals, and values, being more committed, divorce rates are less, acceptance of each other’s differences, and very importantly communication and conflict-solving techniques. The above facts may help arranged marriages last longer than love marriages.

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Do arranged marriages result in love?

Yes, many couples in arranged marriages say that they fell in love with their spouse post-marriage. This has alot to do with shared experiences, common values, and respect for one another

Which marriage is more successful?

Arranged marriages are more successful than love marriages. Research also suggests the initial success rate of arranged marriages is higher, but love marriages offer more satisfaction in the long run. Well, love is not a lifetime commitment to someone.

Which age is the best for marriage?

The best age to get married is one that fits your situation. Individual circumstances, maturity levels, and life goals—all factor in. There are people in their early 20s ready to get married, and others not until the late 30s/early 40s. All in all, you should get married whenever you feel ready to do so — emotionally and financially.

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